x: hey you, me, jarold, bj and chancey should jam today!
a: ill see if bj can come,he’s gonna get some lunch with his girlfriend. dude they celebrated there 4 months.
x: what?! theres no time for that, only for music.
everyone: awkward silence
a: theres time for everything
r: *looks at me deeply, as if she suspected something was wrong
e: *gives such a startled look
(yeah love how u said that infront of my friends…..and how you slowly started to look down after seemingly being so confident in how strongly you love music. I get it, you could have been far ahead of the game, if you werent in a relationship for 2 years, now you understand how much it held u back… then again the the love for what you do and who you love varies?)
me(supposedly): “yeah in your world” or ”speak for yourself let bj be with his girlfriend, i havent seen the guy this happy in ages so theres no need for you to speak for everyone who has girlfriend”
x: *gets all defensive, will probably give me a lecture
(speakin of eye contact, its confirmed that the way you look at me will never be the same, all vulnerable and gentle but so tightly gripped and bonded. Your eyes always smiled, closing me with much assurance. all there was, was love. Where you didnt have to say a word. Where silence was stronger than saying “i love you” now its all gone.. woo)
a: but, I know right? not a very long time.
x: whats there to celebrate for 4 months anyway? *laughs sooo gawd damn obnoxiously
me(reality): yeah i know, aha lame. Darn children.
(in my mind: x greeted me a Happy Anniversary every gawd damn month)
i dont wanna know how much you regret being with me for 2 years. And i HATE HOW DAMN ANALYTICAL I GET ABOUT EVERYTHING YOU SAY ._.